Fanfiction: Colleen

One day, Beardy decided to set up a network for LT United. It took him four days, seven pancakes, three pigeons and an afternoon at the shoe store to realise he didn’t know how to boot up a computer, and should probably get some help. He called Ponytail, who laughed at him, taught him how to boot up a computer and as a bonus how to escape from a straight jacket suspended above a pool of mildly peckish giraffe-fish hybrids. Alas, this was as far as his knowledge went. To everyone’s surprise, it turned out that Fat Bald Dancing Man With Glasses was a computer (and apple soufflé) whizz. He set up a network in under ten minutes, while Ponytail and Beardy shuffled their feet and pretended they knew what he was doing, and what a router was.

Later that night, having successfully escaped from seven straight jackets and a really baggy jumper, Beardy sat down to enter the network chat.

Username: M4G1C834RD!!!
Password: ih8ponitaylz

< you are now in LT United chat. The moderator is ****D4NC3M315T4****>
< users online: 5 >

<<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>> : omg hey hey marijonus!! (((((((glomps!))))))

<****D4NC3M315T4**** > : welcome to the chat, marijonas

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: hihihi M4G1C834RD!!! a/s/l?

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU has entered the chat>

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: hihihhi MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU!!! a/s/l?

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: welcome to the chat, Samas.

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU > What up, looserz?

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: ur a tard, Samas.

< M4G1C834RD!!! >: shutup, vee, u cant talk leik dat 2 Samas

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: hey guys

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: I just

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: had a

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: gr8 idea

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: stop that

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: hey, ----H41RPWNZ!---- !!! a/s/l

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: we shud

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: liek totally

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: become a

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: ice hoki team

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: Stop that, Samas

< M4G1C834RD!!! > WTF?

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: i told u he was a tard

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: ne 1 a/s/l?

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: shuttup vee. u suk.

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: guyz dont fight

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: shut up andrius

< M4G1C834RD!!! >: shut up andrius

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: shutup andrius

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: keep it nice, guys

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: who da f*k made u mod n e way, arnoldus?

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: go cry, arnoldus

< M4G1C834RD!!! >: i did, Vee, so shut up. it waz my idea.

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: a/s/l ???

<<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>: soz, waz in da kitchen whad i miss?

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: u cant evn boot a puter, marijonas. u suck.

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: hey <<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>, a/s/l?

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: I warn you all, I will kick you from chat

<<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>: private message to <~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>

< M4G1C834RD!!! >: yeah well u arnt much betta

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: private message to <<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: omg wat r u sayin?

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: I taught u 2 escape from a strait jaket

<<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>: omg my screen jsut TOTALLY went crazy

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: ne way,

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: what do

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: guyz think

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: about my

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: idea? Coz

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: i think

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: it would

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: totally rock

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: Can u play ice hockey?

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: i hate ice hockey

<<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>: private message to <~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: WAT R U 2 SAYIN???

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: thats y their using PMs u idiot

< M4G1C834RD!!! >: hey we cud do it don’t u only need 6 ppl 4 ice hockey?

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: private message to <<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: well, im not playing ice hockey

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: WHAT R U SAYIN?????

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: me neither

< M4G1C834RD!!! >: ill be on ur team. can i be goalie?

<<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>: private message to <~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: STOM PMING!!!

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: calm down, samas

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: ne way, Lithuania doesnt care about ice hockey. its not HOTT enuff.

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: private message to <<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>

< M4G1C834RD!!! >: like u r, Vee

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: omg u r all loserz

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: i SO am.

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: im leavin

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: cya suckers
< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: im goin to a GOOD chat room

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: liek latvia

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: SO LEAVE THEN

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: NO SHOUTING

< M4G1C834RD!!! >: u r not Vee. im much HOTTerER than u

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: u just did, arnoldus

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: vee, im kicking u out of the band

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: private message to <<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: u cant samas ur not the boss of the band

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: samas, the band split up six months ago

<<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>: private message to <~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: yeah well we cud have had a hockey team

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: but vee is too much of a wang

< M4G1C834RD!!!>: yeah vee

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: as if u r HOTTER than me. i have much cooler hair

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: u r all so lame

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: im leavin

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: SO LEAVE

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: i cant believe I eva worked with you guyz

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: u r holding me back

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: SO LEAVE

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: cool it, you two

< M4G1C834RD!!!>: its vees fault arnoldus

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: well samas should LEAVE

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: private message to <<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: I AM

<<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>: private message to <~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: GOOD

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: you’re right, baby, only i think we shud kill vee first

< M4G1C834RD!!!>: WTF??????????????????????????????????????

< MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU >: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~!>: oops

<<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>>: dont reset ur comments to public mode!

< ----H41RPWNZ!---- >: LOL u cud never kill me!

<****D4NC3M315T4****>: right, go to hell, all of you

<****D4NC3M315T4**** has banned ----H41RPWNZ!---- from the chat>

<****D4NC3M315T4**** has banned <<<<< ViOlInDOOd >>>>> from the chat>

<****D4NC3M315T4**** has banned M4G1C834RD!!! from the chat>

<****D4NC3M315T4**** has banned MIsTAMEGAFONEROXU from the chat>

<****D4NC3M315T4**** has banned ~!~!UnsHavEneYerolLer~!~! from the chat>