What in The Name Of LT United Is This?

Put simply: Mishki and Erin decided to supplement their customary shouting of "Beard!" and "Ponytail!" with something more productive. Hence a website. There isn't any actual battle involved here... At all. Really. No battle. Sorry.

Still confused? So are we! But wait - what is this - a paragraph actually explaining what this site is about? Huzzah!

Jump to: How Epic Is This Battle? | No Fish Allowed
Attack Tactics | Battle Background

How Epic Is This Battle?

Intimidated by the size of your burrito?

Enraged by the sight of a rampant ant?

This is insignificant when compared to the magnitude of the Beard Vs Ponytail BATTLE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. Just look at these proportions. They’re amazingly epic.


Here you can see a very neat diagram (Erin's term of neat chemistry diagrams sure educated her) of the battle with a scale of its epicness. Note the lack of fish. Here is another diagram to aid in your comprehension:

No, I do not know what it means. But compared to this diagram, the first one makes a lot of sense. Note again the lack of fish.

No Fish Allowed

This battle is a 100% fish-free event. It's not that we don't like fish, it's just that they don't belong here. They could be trod on, and make people slip, or give people with a fish phobia a terrible shock.

Attack Tactics

Considering there is no actual battle, the attack tactics are pretty limited. There are a few still open to be tried:

1) Sit in a swimming pool and wear a hat

O.k., this is just blatant use of this picture... But it's so wonderful! Feel the random pool love! YAY!

2) Do a google search for "Large knock knee knife wielding elephant" and make it wear a hat.

You may use any hat you wish. Like this different hat.

You MAY NOT use a pine tree. If it looks like this, you cannot use it.

3) Turn off your television, hide underneath your bed and prank call the nearest taxi service in any language other than English, German, Lithuanian, French, Russian or Latin using nothing but an elastic band and shoelace.


5) Make a website about your arguement, beardyprovide most of the content beardy is incredibly spiffy and place subliminal beardy is cool messages supporting your beardy arguement beardy is far better. (You can only do this if your name is Erin)

Battle Background

Stemming from a manic argument that has been raging ever since Erin and Mishki saw Eurovision 2006, this site explores (in detail) the burning issue of who from the highly spiffy LT United line-up is better-looking: Beardy or Ponytail (known to saner people as Marijus Mikutavicius and Victor Diawara). This is not to detract from the spiff of the rest of LT United in any way. They’re all fantastic. Crafty plans to relocate them to Australia are afoot. However it is in human nature to pick out favourites, so the Beard vs Ponytail "debate" was born.

Though Erin is well and truly Beardy-Biased, and Mishki has a strong Ponytail Preference, differences have been put aside and collaboration has occurred. The literary mind of Mishki, coupled with the artistic and computer dabblings of Erin's (excuse for a) brain have slaved to produce this very piece of online coding.

Of course, we are both cognisant of the sad fact that for the majority of their lives Beardy and Ponytail do not, in truth have a beard or a ponytail. Woe.

We hope that you enjoy this site's content as much as we enjoyed making it.

P.S. Mishki says "Ponytail"

P.P.S.S. Erin flails and says "Beard"