Fanfiction: Gizmo

One morning, Ponytail and Beardy, by total co-incidence, walked out their respective front doors at exactly the same time. They both stopped short.
“Bugger,” said Ponytail.
“Bollocks,” said Beardy.
Each stood and looked at his front garden for a few moments.
“Bollocks,” said Ponytail.
“Bugger,” said Beardy.
Both pulled out their mobile phones and dialled.
“Hello, directory? Can you give me the number of a reliable fan-shrine removal company?”